Long time between visits

Courtney has been doing very well.  She has been enjoying her senior year of high school and cooping 1/2 at the bank.  She is very busy with school and work as they have her working 1/2 on Saturday too.

It seems like such a long time since we have been to St. Jude, when it has only been 2 months.  We go every 3 months now and are due back October 9th.  I have been reverting back to  worrying about the melanoma returning since they are not checking her as often as they did in the past year.  I feel like October cannot come soon enough just so I can be sure she is okay.  I started doing a little research again lately on melanoma since so many friends have been dying, but I know I have to stop because I will begin that downward spiral again.  I used to read so many melanoma blogs... but so many of our melanoma friends are not with us any more.  It makes me so so sad.  It is just so devastating.  I do need to keep up on others blogs though to see how everyone is doing.  I just do not understand why there is not a chemo or medicine that works for melanoma.... why is it so resistant to chemo??  Courtney has a  Stage 2c and I am so afraid of it going to a 3 or 4 and there not being a treatment that works for her.  I pray for a cure every day!

I have been thinking of taking Courtney on a tropical trip for her graduation present in May 2013 or early June.  She had the choice of a party or a trip.  lol  I have looked at a lot of islands and they are all so beautiful.  We went to Maui, Hawaii for her Make a Wish trip last April, but this time I want to take her to swim in the turquoise waters in the Caribbean.  I am hoping my mom can come with us too.  I think that was our favorite part of Hawaii.... my mom laid next to the pool reading while Courtney and I went swimming in the ocean and we LOVED those waves.  We laughed so hard as the waves kept taking us down and we were rolling all over the place as each wave came and went.  I laugh just thinking about it.

I think of all of the good time we have together and all the silly things she says and she makes me laugh so hard.  I cannot and WILL NOT imagine a life without her.  (tears)
Love,
Tari, Courtney's Momma 

Courtney has had a pretty exciting last few days.  We bought her first car.... a 1994 Honda Accord.  She loves it even if it is now new.  lol  She got to drive it to work on Monday for the first time, and she has been running errands the last few days after work.  I have her text me when she gets to work in the morning.... when she leaves for lunch... leaves for work.... gets to her destinations... and is on her way home.  I am not sure if this is too much or not.  I just worry a lot more since the cancer.  She is a very good sport about it though and has no problem doing this for me.  She just laughs and says, "it's going to be okay, Larry!"  Yes, my child calls me Larry, and I answer to it.  lol   We all call each other different, silly names, and Courtney came up with Larry somehow and it stuck!  She even painted me a picture at St. Jude that says, "I love Larry."  She is so funny!  When I get uptight or anxious she comes up to me and rubs the top of my nose with her finger.  It always makes me laugh and I automatically feel better.

We are hoping to move in the next year to lower our house payment, but need to come up with a 20% down payment.  I was a little shocked, but decided to not worry about it and just save as much as we can and hopefully move within 1-2 years.  We found a house we liked and we all were just a little disappointed that we could not buy it.  I know there is a reason for everything,

Courtney and my little ones start school one week from today.  I cannot believe how the summer flew by.  She is now a senior and will be going to school 1/2 day and working at the bank from 12:00 to 4:30.  She really loves being a bank teller.

Today another melanoma friend died.  It is so heartbreaking and sooooo scary.  So many have died in the last 6 months.  I no longer do melanoma research on the internet as it only made me worry terribly... the worrying has aged me... and now I am no longer depressed and worried that Courtney will die.  I feel so confident that she will beat this (like she has been) and will live a long, long life!
Love, Courtney's Mama

July Scans

Courtney and I just got back from St. Jude and her 6 month scans were clear!!  I am so relieved.  Courtney told me I can stop worrying for 3 months when her next check up will be.  Thank you for all of the thoughts and prayers!

Finished with Treatment!

Courtney competed her 1 year of treatment on June 5, 2012.  She is doing very well and will continue to go to St. Jude every 3 months for check-ups.  We go back July 8th for her 6 month scans.  Those always make me nervous, but I do feel she will continue to be cancer free.  I feel very positive even though she is no longer taking her medicine.

Courtney inspired me to make cancer bracelets and sell them.  I have sold a couple and made them for family members, but I am also opening a store to sell them online.  I can also make all occasion and customized bracelets.

Our store is located at:
www.hopescancerbracelets.com



I will be donating at least 10% of every bracelet purchased when our store opens to a cancer charity, melanoma organization, or St. Jude.  I will also donate to the charity of your choice.

Hope's Bracelet Boutique will open in the fall/winter 2012.

Courtney's Make-A-Wish Trip

April 23, 2012... Courtney's wish was granted by Make-A-Wish KY.  Courtney, my mom and I got to spend the most memorable week in Maui, Hawaii.  We were up at 4:00 am to get ready to catch our first plane to Denver, CO.  It was very exciting until we saw the size of the airplane.... yes, I was scared to death.  Courtney had to hold my hand and she took a picture when I was closing my eyes of how hard I was squeezing her fingers.  They were turning yellow, but she never said a word to me.  Our plane to Maui was bigger 767.  Courtney and I played games and tried to sleep during the 7 hour flight.

We arrived in Maui in the afternoon, and we could not believe how absolutely beautiful it was.  It was paradise!!  We were greeted with Lei's by a beautiful Hawaiian lady holding a sign with Courtney's name on it.  I saw her before Courtney and I got my camera out.

 

  

We arrived at our hotel, Westin Resort and Spa, and was amazed how beautiful it was.  We were upgraded to an Ocean view room.  We were so happy!  

 

Monday night we had our first meal at the hotel restaurant.... delicious.  Courtney felt all grown up sitting by candlelight with her water glass and new fingernails.  lol  We were in bed by 7 pm and up at 4 am all ready for a day in paradise.  Tuesday was our day of rest so we swam in the pool... went down the pool slides... swam in the ocean.  We had a great time swimming.  We were happy they had so many huts by the pool for protection.

We are very grateful to Make-a-Wish for this fabulous trip.  We hope to go back someday, and I hope to take her on more vacations.

 

April Monthly Check-up

Courtney had her monthly check up last week and things went okay.  She has been having some pain in her liver area and her ribs are separating in the same area.  You can even see an indentation.  The doctor did xrays and an ultrasound of her liver and gallbladder, but they turned out normal.  They do not know what is causing the pain, and she continues to have it.  She takes medicine and puts icy patches on the area and that is helping for now.  We will talk to the doctor again at the May visit if this continues.  She continues on the same dose of peginterferon.  Her last treatment will be June 5th!  We are both excited to be finished with the shots, but we are also scared that the cancer will come back.  We pray that she continues to be NED after she stops the medicine.... for the rest of her life!  It is amazing that next month is one year since she was diagnosed.  Since her melanoma could be genetic we have to watch all of our skin and moles very carefully, which we have been doing.  Saturday one of my moles that I have been watching starting bleeding (a lot) and Courtney and I looked at each other and our stomachs dropped.  She said I need to go to the dermatologist.  I was going to go after Hawaii since it usually takes weeks or months to get an appointment, but I called and took me right away.  I was so surprised.  They removed the mole that was bleeding and another one on my thigh that looked like it had 2 colors in it, and I will get the results in about 7 days.   The previous 4 moles that I have had removed have come back fine, so I am sure these will too.  I finally found a doctor that I really like in Bowling Green.  He took the time to talk to me and explain a lot of things.  I was very pleased with him, and I will be bringing my family to see him as well.      

She is doing well on her thyroid medicine.  Her temperatures are normal again, and she has more energy.  She had some angry feelings when she first started taking it, but those are gone.  She does get irritated by people at times as well, but who doesn't.  We met with the hormone doctor this visit and he thinks that the interferon is causing the thyroid problems and it will hopefully go back to normal after she completes her treatment.  St. Jude is simply amazing!  We love everyone there.


Today I received our Make-A-Wish Itinerary and packet.  Yay!!  We leave one week from today to Maui, Hawaii.  The hotel looks absolutely beautiful.  This is very exciting and have been looking forward to this for a long time.  Make-a-Wish is amazing, and we are SO thankful to them.   

Swollen lymph node?

Last week Courtney texted me from school saying she felt a swollen lymph node on the left side of her neck (the same side as her original melanoma).  I have been doing a lot better with my worrying over the last few months, but hearing this made the tears start flowing again.  I called St. Jude and told them it was about the size of a pea and was not tender.  The doctor said that it does not sound like an emergency and he will see her on Tuesday, which made me feel better.  We left for St. Jude on Monday after school and drove the 5 hours with Courtney singing and talking the ENTIRE way!  LOL  When we got to Grizzly House, she continued talking, singing, and dancing until 1:00 am.  Yes, she was exhausted for her appointments on Tuesday.

Her appointment went very well.  The doctor said her lymph nodes look good, the swelling was most likely from a sore throat that she had, but to watch it.  Thank the Lord!!   He asked Courtney if she was excited that her treatment will be over in 3 months, and she burst into tears... as did I.  I knew what she was thinking.  This medicine gives her a sense of security, and she is scared that when she is finished with it, that the melanoma will come back since this is such an aggressive, fast moving cancer and very unpredictable.  I still feel very positive that she is going to beat this, but once in a while I still have fear that it may come back in the next few years as the peginterferon does not extend the survival rate, it is just supposed to extend the disease free time by 9 months.  Some people do not understand how terrible this disease is...it is SO deadly.  I remember reading another lady's blog who has stage 4 melanoma in her lung, and her doctor told her that it would be better and more treatable if it was lung cancer, and not melanoma.  I have watched so many people die over the last 6 months with melanoma, and I pray every day that my daughter will get through this and live a long, long life!  <3

Valentines Day

Courtney and I spent Valentines Day at St. Jude for her monthly check up.  It was a very long 7 hour day, and then another 5 hour drive home.  I am looking forward to sharing the drive with my daughter when she gets her license this summer.  :) 

It was a very nice day.  Courtney gave me a beautiful box with polka dots and roses to store my important papers in, and heart chocolates from her and and her boyfriend.  I was very surprised as I have never received a Valentines gift from her.  I gave the kids heart boxed chocolates.... I also received roses. :)

I am not sure what to make of this check-up yet, but they told us that her thyroid numbers were very high from the peginterferon and they put her on thyroid medicine.  Now, every visit she also needs to see an Endocrinologist to regulate her medicine.  I need to do more research on this.  After the appointment I could see the worry in Courtney's eyes when she asked me, "can I die from this?"  My poor girl has been through so much over the last 9 months, I was hoping all the worries were gone.  Lately she has been worrying and stressing about college and planning for her future.  I do not want her to have any other worries.

The good news is her liver enzymes are down to almost normal and they slightly increased her dose.  She has 4 more months on peginterferon..... and then what?   We know that the medicine provides an extra 9 months of relapse free occurrence, but it does not extend overall survival.  I am afraid that once we are finished with the treatment, the melanoma will come back like so many others.

I read a few melanoma blogs, and we just lost another brave fighter recently.  I prayed for him every day as I pray for so many.  A friend that I went to school with.... her best friend's daughter has kidney cancer and is in hospice.  She is only in her early 20s.... such a beautiful young lady, and it breaks my heart to see so much cancer in young children, teenagers and young adults.  I have always been a worrier when it came to my children, but NEVER IN MY LIFE did I worry that they would get cancer.  I worried about everything else... not this.  In the first six or so months, I cried every day and worried that she was going to die, but I kept it all to my self.  No matter what people said to me, it did not make things better.  Courtney's doctor said to me that finding out your child has cancer is a grieving process, just like a death.  You go through stages.  That is exactly what happened to me.  One day I decided to pray for myself, in addition to everyone else.... I prayed for strength.  My prayers were answered and my depression, crying, and worrying about dying went away.  I now feel certain that Courtney is going to be okay.  I keep praying that I continue to be strong for my daughter as this will be a fight for the rest of her life.... her long, long life! <3

Mother Passes Deadly Cancer to Baby

Mother Passes Deadly Cancer to Baby

Melanoma can be passed to fetus while mothers who have melanoma are pregnant.  This is very sad and so scary. 

Tanning Beds - KY 12RS HB249

I was very pleased when CA was the first to ban tanning beds for those teens 18 and younger.  I felt that other states would definitely follow in their footsteps since they are proven to cause cancer.  I could not wait to see how other states followed.  A good portion of other states have proposed bills for 18 and younger, but not KY.  I was so disappointed when I read this:
  
KENTUCKY - HB 249 has been introduced. It would prohibit any person younger than 14 years of age from using a tanning device. Major disappointment!! Most of the teen tanning bed users are probably older than 14, so that totally ignores the problem. KY residents, let your state legislators know that you are not happy with such a weak bill. 

There are a few other states that are also introducing the 14 and under ban.  I did contact my state legislator.   

My daughter was 16 when she was diagnosed with melanoma!  

St. Jude Monthly Check-up

Courtney had another wonderful check-up on January 17, 2012.  Her blood works looks good although her liver numbers are still elevated slighly.  They will continue with the 25% reduction in her peginterferon.  The nurse did a full body check for lumps and moles, and did not find anything. 

Courtney and I always have a wonderful time driving down to Memphis every month.  We talk, laugh and sing... and eat too much!  It is such a wonderful hospital.  We feel right at home when we have to go.  The drive is starting to get tedious recently, but only 5 more months and we will be going every 3 months. 

Courtney is a junior in high school and has begun the college process.  She did well on her practice ACT, and she will take her first test in February.  She is enrolling in July/August as soon as she starts her senior year.  This is a very happy time for her as she is so excited for college, but she is worrying way too much.  I told her we need to take it a step at a time, and all of our questions will be answered.